• Female anatomy
• Orgasm
• Breasts issues
• How to stimulate the breasts
• Masturbation at women
• Children and masturbation
• How to masturbate
• Make her finish
• Who's to blame
• How to achieve female orgasm
• Who never had an orgasm raise their hand
• Have no fear
• Get to know yourself
• Does sexual desire matter?
• Get in the mood
• The elusive orgasm

The orgasm used to be an exclusive male thing. I suspect that happened not only because women were taught not to enjoy the sexual act, but rather to perceive it as something she was owing to her husband and means of providing preferably male offspring.

The perception of woman orgasm has changed along with the overall perception of women's roles and status in society.

Now that the women is no longer inferior to the male in society she's no longer inferior to the man in bed. So the question of female orgasm comes to mind.

There are lots of polls concerning female orgasms and, as one might expect, if you do the same poll with different people the answers are not the same, (not to mention they're sometimes not the same even when the same people answer the same questions).

Let me give you an example:

2137 women answer the question “ How often do you experience orgasm during sex?”.
• 43% (919) answered that they experience orgasm at every sexual encounter

• 38% (812) said they experience orgasm during sex sometimes

• 19%(406) said that they never had an orgasm during sex.

You can get aroused by a thought, a image, a smell, a sound, a touch... you name it.

You need both your body and your mind to get an orgasm.

At birth every one of us is highly sensitive to stimulation so simple things like nursing can result in sexual arousal in infants.

At puberty one should already know what sexual arousal is and depending on education, one would categorize arousal as being good or bad.

There is a big wide line between who is perceived as being a “good girl” and a “bad girl”. While society treasures the “good girl” (though less than it did a few decades ago), it blames women who simply get aroused faster and that act on their feelings.

Now let's get to what actually happens during female arousal and orgasm.

For the orgasm to occur, the female body must undergo 2 changes.

The genital organs and breasts must first fill with blood, that's called vasocongestion, and you also need that to get an erection. So when vasocongestion occurs, the genital organs increase in size, the body gets warm, the nipples and genitals change color (becoming darked due to the increased amount of blood) and the vagina lubricates.

The second thing that happens is the accumulation of energy in muscles and nerves, not only in the genitals but throughout the body, you can call it “sexual tension”. That process is called myotonia. You'll know that neuromuscular tension has built up when you feel your body full or tight just before you have an orgasm.

In some women, orgasm doesn't occur because they don't allow themselves to let go or go over the edge when strong myotonia occurs.

The two processes I told you about, vasocongestion and myotonia can be prevented or restricted by diseases, drugs or illnesses that affect blood flow, muscles or nerves.

Basically the sexual response cycle is broken into 4 phases.

These phases are excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. It's quite hard for any woman or man to pinpoint exactly when they're in a certain phase, how long the phase lasts and even the order in which the 4 phases occur.

It's not even necessary for a woman to go through the plateau phase to get an orgasm.

Every single woman and man has hers /his way of experiencing every phase and each sexual experience is different, depending on the person who they're with and the mood they're in.

In women, this is the way arousal manifests physically:

• the vagina begins to lubricate

• the 2 thirds of the vagina that are closest to the uterus expand

• both cervix and uterus are pulled upwards

• labia majora get flatter and spread

• labia minora and clitoris increase in size

• the nipples may get hard due to muscle contractions

• if the woman is highly aroused the breasts might get bigger

How much, how thick or how the vaginal lubricants smell differs not only from woman to woman but also differ at the same woman depending on her menstrual state and even what she ate.

If a woman is moist that doesn't necessarily mean she's aroused and if she's dry it doesn't necessarily mean that she's not aroused.

There are women that don't get lubricated enough to go on with intercourse and need artificial lubrication, and there are women that they can get everything soaked.

Those are just normal differences between two normal different people.

The second phase leading to orgasm is the plateau phase. This is what happens during the plateau phase:

• sexual tension increases
  blood pooling makes the outer one third of the vagina swell and that makes the vagina's opening to decrease with about 30 in size

  The two thirds of the vagina located closer to the uterus balloon out, usually resulting in making the woman feeling like she needs to be filled

• if the plateau phase lasts for long vaginal lubrication might decrease in quantity
  the clitoris is also subject to vasocongestion, and it's glans moves towards the pubic bone and it is hidden by the hood

• the labia minora get 2 or 3 times thicker
  if the labia minora increase greatly in size they might spread the labia majora open and expose the entrance to the vagina

  The labia minora get from pink to red in women who did not give birth and from bright red to deep wine the areola begins to swell

  in the case of women who did not breastfeed the size of the breasts can increase with up to 25%, women who did not breast feed will not experience noticeable growths

  because of vasocongestion women (men too), can experience “sex flushes”, that's the red coloration of the skin and it usually appears under the breasts and spreads on other parts of the body

• heart rate increases, sometime beating noticeably

• sexual tension increases in the thighs and buttocks

• only now the woman is really ready for vaginal intercourse

As you probably noticed, a woman's actually physically ready for vaginal intercourse at the end of the plateau phase. If a woman is wet it doesn't mean that she is ready to have vaginal intercourse, you'll know she's ready to have vaginal intercourse when her body opens the vulva and exposes the vaginal opening.

The orgasm phase usually manifests by :

• the muscles contract rhythmically in the outer third of the vagina, the urethra and anus.

• Usually the first contractions are the more powerful and they come in successions after 0.8 seconds. The following contractions gradually decrease in intensity and they're not as rhythmical.

• Intense orgasms usually have 10-15 contractions and mild ones between 3 and 5 contractions.

• The redness of the body becomes more pronounced and spreads more

• other muscles in the body can contract

• monitoring the brainwaves showed that orgasm also occurs in the brain

• at some women ejaculation can occur. It's not known yet if the fluid expelled is urine or female ejaculate. It seems that the orgasms are more powerful when they're accompanied by ejaculation

• myotonia can be present in the face, hands and feet. The face expression can indicate pain when in fact it's just the manifestation of an orgasm

• the body might become rigid at the peak of orgasm

It came as a surprise to me to find out (while documenting for this article) that most women find achieve better and more satisfying orgasms during masturbation than during sex with a partner.

That might happen either because the focus is on her and her sensations rather than on the partner. Also different women might find a greater pleasure when experiencing the contractions of the vagina without the penis inside

Some researchers say that it is possible for women to experience orgasm while engaging in vaginal intercourse. Technically that's possible because the thrusting penis also pushes and pulls the inner labia and indirectly stimulates the clitoris. Though in theory it should work I don't think it's practically that possible or probable.

Or I might be wrong. When the woman is really really aroused and ready to have vaginal intercourse the indirect stimulation of the clitoris along with vaginal penetration can result in an orgasm.

Most, and when I say most I mean 90% of the women masturbate by directly stimulating the clitoris as means of reaching orgasm. The 10% left masturbate by stimulating both the vagina and the clitoris.

Now let's see what happens during the last phase of the sexual response, the resolution :

• if stimulation doesn't cease the woman might experience more orgasms

• the vagina returns to normal state

• the clitoris, labia and breasts return to normal in size, position and color

• increased sensibility can make nipples and clitoris uncomfortable to the touch

• the red coloration known as “sex flush” disappears

• sweating and heavy breathing can occur

• the heart beat should be elevated

• even if orgasm didn't occur a woman should feel just as women who had orgasms feel but at a slower rate. If a feeling of pelvic discomfort and heaviness occurs it's because the blood is still trapped in the pelvic organs

In most cases however, the clitoris is very sensitive after that first orgasm so stimulation should be light or indirect.

It seems that multiple orgasms usually occur during masturbation and that usually there's a vibrator involved too( probably because the vibrator never gets tired).

Though orgasm seems not to be necessary for a good life, it is necessary if you want your woman to have a happy and enjoyable sex life.

The thing with female orgasm these days is that it became too much of an obligation. Women are expected to have orgasms, because that's what everyone sees in moves right?

The general image we're left with is that female orgasm comes from 30 seconds of sex...that's so not true.

Orgasm, as shown before is quite a long process and shouldn't be taken lightly.

On the other hand, if we're thinking that woman orgasm comes so easily though it does not we expect the woman we're with to have an orgasm just if we snap our fingers. That can cause the woman next to us to be frustrated by the fact that she doesn't have an orgasm or that it might actually take longer to achieve it.

Or, what's even worse, she might start lying about having an orgasm or start faking orgasms. That will eventually lead to frustration, both about their inability to have an orgasm(though most of the time it's not their fault), and about their partners sexual inability.

Though women usually don't have sex just to have an orgasm, having one helps tighten the bond between them and their partner. So some women might actually prefer having sex just to get closer to the man they love and save the orgasms for when they masturbate.

The thing with faking orgasms is that the women will end up by having the same unsatisfactory sex-life because the partner will go on doing the same thing that he thinks will give her an orgasm.

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